Saturday, 12 March 2016

Today was worth all my nerves!

What an experienced I have had today! I went to Bangor University for the ucas open day after applied an undergraduate chemistry degree. I felt so nervous on the way thinking over things that probably didn't even matter. I am like that though, I tend to overthink situation. My nerves was just all over me and it got worse soon as we enter the science building. After 10 minutes being sat down at the lecture room and heard how how heavy the modules is going to be for the first year I silently thought that maybe my background education wouldn't be enough compare to the other applicants that gone through A-levels before studying a degree. In short I am in doubt whether I can do the course with not having enough qualifications. The chance for me to get a place or be offered a place is pretty slim compare to those younger students who have had proper qualifications from GCSE's to A-levels. At the event today, I was not only an access student but also the oldest one in there. That really put me off because of the much wider age gap but then I thought, "oh well, I might as well charged it to experience" and shouldn't I be proud of how far I've come? It's the pressure I've created for myself that because I am the older one I should be expected to perform better. Unlike the course I am currently in has few other older ones thereby no pressure felt to excel any better. But should I let my age hinder me to pursue my dream? NO! Never! So I stayed in. Then I found out that there is an interview with the member of the academic staff and what's even more frightening was that I had that spontaneous interview with the only head of admission or the director of that department who looks like someone who can't be messing around. It is petrifying knowing that I was not so ready for that interview at all. All I expect was a general tour around the University, lectures, practical demonstration, food and informal chats. Anyway, soon as I entered his office I started to feel my nerves and started sweating. More so when he began firing questions at me. That is when I can barely speak even if I have the answers in mine but when you are that s**t scared you'll tend to lose or forget what you are about or going to say. Though I've managed to answer most of the question asked but I don't think it was enough. I felt that I could have explains it better. My answers were short and simple if not vague. But guess he'd seen my clear determination above all because he offered me a place. I'm well happy today and to top it all, another milestone achieved today for I took a train on my way back home for the very first time on my own. Wow! I'm heading to becoming an independent woman. 
So thought it would be nice to take photo  of the flatform I was in earlier today for keepsake. 😜😂👌🏻 

Thursday, 10 March 2016

But, I won't do that!

Do you find it hard when you are living in a house full of conservative people?...

Like when you are wearing something like this in the house and your 10 yr old son looks at you like you've committed a murder and left you speechless with rhetorical question saying, "Mummy what are you wearing?" My face was like 😠. Their father-influenced to them are extremed, no doubt! Debated whether to carry on just to annoy them all or change? Alright they've won as I've went for the latter 😏. Although there is that saying that says "Be yourself" but still, it didn't work.  Well, its debatable really because and one point you say yes I won't change for anybody in this world. But when you become a mother everything changed including that because we will do anything for our kids, don't we?  Oh wait a minute, there is that song by meatloaf "I'd do anything for love" (but I won't do that)? In that case, remaining to be me is fully justified, lol. 
One more pose? For picture sake!! 😅😅 love you kids!! 

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